You have it only 1/2 right, it wasn't a MRI - it was an ultrasound. I would have been okay just getting slid into a machine, but the hot jelly pushed the situation well beyond awkward. Good news is everything went alright.
Good stuff. Most of it was true! I remember that night well and I thought Billy was the coolest kid in the class.
The only falsehood involves the brown cottonballs. This is a "you needed to be there" story, but it's the truth. Me and Billy were young...maybe 9 and 10 years old. It was Halloween and I was going as a were wolf and Billy as a vampire. My dad was supposed to pick us up some fake vampire teeth after work, but he worked late and the store ran out by the time he got home. All hell broke loose when my dad walked thru the door empty handed. How were we going to pull these costumes off? I was a dumb kid with brown cotton balls stuck to my face and Billy had red lipstick on. After much debate (more like a temper tantrum), Billy decided not to go...he was protesting. I, on the otherhand, was a poor fat kid that loved candy...especially when it was free! I couldn't miss this opportunity. So, my dad, Kung Fu, and I went out to solicit the neighborhood - Billy stayed home. The night was going well, much candy for everyone... I collected so much I thought I'd probably have enough to even share with my brother. We were walking up to one of the final houses in the neighborhood when I heard my mom yell, "Billy, be careful crossing the street!." I looked over my shoulder and saw this kid, my brother, running wth a sheet thrown over his head and a couple of eye holes cut into it. He was a ghost. The most freakin' hilarious ghost you could imagine. To this day I laugh aloud when I visualize him running in this costume. In any case, I wish I could say this was a story book ending ... it wasn't. As we cheerfully walked backed to the house, a few kids I knew walked up to me...by this time, completely exhausted from trick'r'treating all night, I forgot I didn't have my vampire teeth. To my displeasure, the kids said - "what are you? An old man?" I was mortified. Stupid vampire teeth.
Crazy parallels. You're quite crafty with this writing stuff. Me? not so much. In any case, I worry about father as well - not sure if it's pride, addiction, or boredom with the new house - but he needs to slow down. This is one of the times that I wish I was living in the area to help the old guy. I hate thinking about him doing all of this alone. Maybe I can convince them to retire to Seattle! That would be sweet....
Interesting stuff. My thought is my previous relationships were nothing to write home about, but they made me what I am today. Without those, I'd probably be a dishwasher at a nursing home (no offense stevie). I'm happy were I ended up.
Good story - when we were young, I had a ridiculous crush on a girl in Billy's grade. I even took her school bus home one day and had to walk two hours to get home. But, hell, it was worth it. Well, maybe I should mention that this girl was WAAAAAAAYYY out of my league. I was the smelly kid in the back of the room, she was a future prom queen. I didn't care. I was in a fantasy world and thought I had a legitimate shot. One day, Billy must have picked up on my obsession, I mean crush, and realized I was way over my head. So, going to bed that night, he said, "want to hear the craziest thing? Linda, you now her right, super hot girl in my class? well, she's a farter. she rips out these tiny farts all day. It's disgusting." Needless to say, I never quite looked at her the same way. Even today...
Comment written 4 months ago
Interesting - what was this all about??? From the title I assumed it involved a dog and a lot of peanut butter... Was I right? haha
Comment written 4 months ago
You have it only 1/2 right, it wasn't a MRI - it was an ultrasound. I would have been okay just getting slid into a machine, but the hot jelly pushed the situation well beyond awkward. Good news is everything went alright.
Comment written 8 months ago
Comment written 1 years ago
Comment written 1 years ago
Comment written 1 years ago
The only falsehood involves the brown cottonballs. This is a "you needed to be there" story, but it's the truth. Me and Billy were young...maybe 9 and 10 years old. It was Halloween and I was going as a were wolf and Billy as a vampire. My dad was supposed to pick us up some fake vampire teeth after work, but he worked late and the store ran out by the time he got home. All hell broke loose when my dad walked thru the door empty handed. How were we going to pull these costumes off? I was a dumb kid with brown cotton balls stuck to my face and Billy had red lipstick on. After much debate (more like a temper tantrum), Billy decided not to go...he was protesting. I, on the otherhand, was a poor fat kid that loved candy...especially when it was free! I couldn't miss this opportunity. So, my dad, Kung Fu, and I went out to solicit the neighborhood - Billy stayed home. The night was going well, much candy for everyone... I collected so much I thought I'd probably have enough to even share with my brother. We were walking up to one of the final houses in the neighborhood when I heard my mom yell, "Billy, be careful crossing the street!." I looked over my shoulder and saw this kid, my brother, running wth a sheet thrown over his head and a couple of eye holes cut into it. He was a ghost. The most freakin' hilarious ghost you could imagine. To this day I laugh aloud when I visualize him running in this costume. In any case, I wish I could say this was a story book ending ... it wasn't. As we cheerfully walked backed to the house, a few kids I knew walked up to me...by this time, completely exhausted from trick'r'treating all night, I forgot I didn't have my vampire teeth. To my displeasure, the kids said - "what are you? An old man?" I was mortified. Stupid vampire teeth.
Comment written 1 years ago
Comment written 1 years ago
Comment written 1 years ago
Comment written 1 years ago
Good story - when we were young, I had a ridiculous crush on a girl in Billy's grade. I even took her school bus home one day and had to walk two hours to get home. But, hell, it was worth it. Well, maybe I should mention that this girl was WAAAAAAAYYY out of my league. I was the smelly kid in the back of the room, she was a future prom queen. I didn't care. I was in a fantasy world and thought I had a legitimate shot. One day, Billy must have picked up on my obsession, I mean crush, and realized I was way over my head. So, going to bed that night, he said, "want to hear the craziest thing? Linda, you now her right, super hot girl in my class? well, she's a farter. she rips out these tiny farts all day. It's disgusting." Needless to say, I never quite looked at her the same way. Even today...